soulbonding | My Blog

Anon, the advice I give you depends strongly on an important factor.

Are your F/Os system members, soulbonds, or other real, people with agency of their own that you share your internal experience with in some way?

or are they just fictional characters that you write about and enjoy and play pretend with?

Because if they’re just fictional characters then it is impossible to manipulate them in any meaningful way. It’s like saying you’re manipulating a doll or a teddy bear. It’s ridiculous. There’s no need for you to feel guilty about any of it, because there is no real person for you to harm. Full stop. You’re fine.

If they’re system members, or other internal people with agency then it could be possible that you have been manipulative, or that your actions have caused harm.

Here’s what you should do if your F/O is a real internal person with agency that you worry you have been manipulating.

The same thing you’d do with any other partner you worried that you had caused harm to.

Talk to them about your feelings.

Communicate with them.

Ask them what they want, and if they feel harmed.

And if they do feel harmed, apologize, and ask them how you would like to proceed in the future.

Anon, we are so glad to meet you, an so glad our posts resonated with you!

This part in your message stood out to me

we have some fictives sure but he feels like… a different type of fictive i have no idea how to explain it)

I think you should check out some posts over at our (very out of date) blog @soulbonder and see if some of the experiences talked about over there resonate with you.

Please feel free to put anything you like in our inbox if you want to talk more about your experiences.

Hi there, anon! Thanks for your question, and don’t worry, it’s not offensive! That said, there are couple of ways to interpret what you’re asking, so, if I didn’t understand your question correctly, or you have more questions after our answer, please feel free to send a follow up message!

♦ The first way to interpret your question is “can you have a fellow system member that you treat as an F/O?”

The answer to this is resoundingly “yes.” There are lots of our system members are in romantic relationships with one another internally. One way that we share and celebrate those relationships is by treating them as “F/Os” online, and making posts about our relationships in that context.

For instance Harry and Peter are both members of Sinister System. They’re in a relationship. Harry likes to make F/O posts about Peter to show him that he loves him.

♦ The second way to interpret your question is “can you have an F/O that you later discover has become, or always actually was, a system member?”

The answer is also yes. An intense, intimate connection like an F/O relationship is something that easily create, awaken, or summon a system member of any type.

Even people who do not typically consider themselves plural experience this fairly frequently, and there is a lot of crossover with what is called a “soulbond” in this sphere. (please ask me if you want to hear more about soulbonds or check out the blog @soulbonder for more information.) Here’s one specific post you might find worth checking out.

I hope that answered your question, and if it didn’t, or if you have more questions, please let us know!

It sounds like you’re on a journey of self discovery, and we are here for you!

Here are some resources that might help you sort things out.

our post from the other day about contacting headmates.

fictionkin.org: a resource for helping people understand fictionkin

from-fiction: tumblr related to fictionkin, fictives and general fictional alterhumanity

soulblonder: a sadly pretty dead blog dedicated to soulbonding

Hi anon! Thank you for sharing all this with us, it sounds like you have a lot on your mind and are going through a tough time.

It also sounds like you should definitely look further into plurality– I wouldn’t be surprised if you were experiencing, or had experienced a form of it.

A lot of the time switching doesn’t feel like you’re ‘not there’ but more like someone else is there and the one doing things.

Dangerous system members sadly ARE sometimes a thing, whether your plurality is from DID, psychologically endogenic, soulbonding, or some form of spirit mediumship. I don’t say that to scare you but it is sometimes something that plural people struggle with.

Discovering more about your plurality might be a good way to learn to exert more influence on what you feel like is a hostile force– often the key is communication!

As for feeling like you “popped into existence” there’s an experience some of our friends have had that you might want to look into called being a “walk in”, which basically means you popped into the body after someone else left.

Please feel free to ask more questions if you have them, and I really hope this helped!

–🎀💖

Anon, it is possible to be plural without having DID or OSDD. DID and OSDD are disorders that cause plurality, but they are not the only causes of plurality, it can stem from many different sources, both psychological and spiritual.

If there are people in your head who have consistent existences and you regularly talk to them, you are experiencing some form of plurality, and its up to you what kind of label you put on that.

I urge you to look into endogenic plurality. @soulbonder is a good resource discussing specifically soulbonding– which is where you experience the presence of characters in your head, whether they’re OCs, or characters from media you’re familiar with. Even if that’s not exactly what you’re experiencing, that might be a good place to start looking into the experiences of others.

@sophieinwonderland also discusses endogenic plurality, usually from a psychological angle, and not a spiritual one, which may be more or less helpful to you depending on your perspective.

Please feel free to send and ask to us any time, or even DM privately if you want to talk. I know going through discovering plurality can be very overwhelming.

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Hello. Uh I have a question about systems. I’m sorry if it’s weird and makes no sense but, do you think it’s possible for system members to like… I dunno the right word so I’m sorry if it’s offensive, but like do you think it’s possible for system members to manifest as an f/o?