Tag Archives: plural community

One of my former friends used to support me, comfort me when I was down over people harassing me for my F/O, but when they turned their back on me they said I was problematic for loving my F/O, and “forcing them” to do these things for me… Like, manipulating them into comforting and indulging me. I still fear that this is actually what I did without realizing it.

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Anon, the advice I give you depends strongly on an important factor.

Are your F/Os system members, soulbonds, or other real, people with agency of their own that you share your internal experience with in some way?

or are they just fictional characters that you write about and enjoy and play pretend with?

Because if they’re just fictional characters then it is impossible to manipulate them in any meaningful way. It’s like saying you’re manipulating a doll or a teddy bear. It’s ridiculous. There’s no need for you to feel guilty about any of it, because there is no real person for you to harm. Full stop. You’re fine.

If they’re system members, or other internal people with agency then it could be possible that you have been manipulative, or that your actions have caused harm.

Here’s what you should do if your F/O is a real internal person with agency that you worry you have been manipulating.

The same thing you’d do with any other partner you worried that you had caused harm to.

Talk to them about your feelings.

Communicate with them.

Ask them what they want, and if they feel harmed.

And if they do feel harmed, apologize, and ask them how you would like to proceed in the future.

What do you mean “clinical”? Do you mean it’s language used by diagnosed DID systems, or is it like transmeds who use weird language to gatekeep who’s “really” trans?I keep hearing voices sometimes. I’m really excited to think I might actually have people up here in my head, but even that feels shameful because I’ve always heard “You shouldn’t want this, it’s hellish. You’re fucked up for wanting to have a system. You’re erasing the trauma it’s given me.”I…don’t feel singular. I never have. I’ve never felt like I’m just me. I’ve always felt people behind me, hand on my shoulder, someone taking my hand. Someone holding me when I desperately, desperately needed someone I could trust to not abandon me the way everyone else had. Facets, I called them. Masks, even though they felt so, so different to myself.But because I can’t find them, because it’s strange and vague feelings here and there, it feels…wrong to be excited? Wrong to be happy or to finally feel like things make sense. Like I’m still not allowed somewhere that might give me answers.
– πŸ‰πŸ’Œ

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What do you mean “clinical”? Do you mean it’s language used by diagnosed DID systems, or is it like transmeds who use weird language to gatekeep who’s “really” trans?

Both. It is language that is generally only used by plurals who understand themselves using the clinical model; and additionally system gatekeepers, sometimes calles sysmeds, police the language that they think people are allowed to use.

I want to assure you, plurality is not always suffering, just as existing as a singlet is not always suffering.

Do not let shame and fear stop you from pursuing knowledge, or the truth about yourself.

If you’re looking for support, and feeling like you don’t belong, try looking for these terms: endogenic plurality, pro endo, endo safe.

Do you think a system could awaken at any age? Do you think it’s possible for someone who’s been going through life dissociated but not…”shifted out” to one day suddenly develop an alter? What does it mean to have an alter “awaken”?
– πŸ‰πŸ’Œ

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It’s our personal belief, and the belief of many on the greater plural community, that plurality can manifest, awaken, or be discovered at any age.

Clinical purists of the “model of structural dissociation” often dispute this, but they aren’t even getting their own clinical arguments right.

We use the term “awaken” for our own system members because we believe that we have a broadly fixed system and all of us have always been here, but dormant.

Other plurals use the terms “manifest”, “appear”, “be created” etc to describe new members coming into their systems.

We don’t use the terms “alter” for ourselves as that is specifically clinical DID language.

Please feel free to ask follow up questions.

–πŸ”¬πŸ

How do you deal with having DID and other DID/OSDD blogs are vehemently against proshipping. Cause…it’s been difficult to find…blogs to relate to, i just don’t want to be hated as a system who encourages proshipping. (I block the blogs, of course.)

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We don’t participate in the DID/OSDD community, because we don’t have DID or OSDD and as a pro-endo mixed origin system we are largely unwelcome in these spaces in general.

We find that pro-endo and origin ambivalent plurals are much more likely to be welcoming of proshippers than strict DID spaces as well.

Do you have any advice/resources on how to contact a potential headmate? I feel like I might have a system but I can’t seem to reach or “talk to” any of the members or find an inner world or anything.

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Your best bet is to just keep trying to initiate contact and conversation, even if you don’t feel like you’re getting a response.

  • When you’re picking something to eat, ask for someone else’s input.
  • When you’re watching something, ask what they think.
  • Grab a pad of paper and write down questions, then write an answer ‘as’ your system member/let your system member answer. See if it feels right.
  • Do the same but via discord. Create a separate pluralkit tag for them and try to talk back and forth. See if it feels like someone else or if it just feels like you.
  • Just keep poking whenever you think of it. Ask their opinion on things that happen and choices you make during the day.
  • Be aware that not all system communication is verbal or seems verbal. Especially in the early days it can be feelings, nonverbal thoughts, internal body language, etc.

If any of our plural followers have any more advice please chime in.

hi feel free 2 delete if u dont want 2 answer but </3 is it possible to be plural without having DID or OSDD? i’ve been trying 2 figure some things out recently, and a few days ago while i was talking to one of my friends about this they recommended i talk to one of their system friends about it which confused me since, as far as i know, i don’t have DID / OSDD;but－ i have… like, “people” in my head that i regularly like, talk with… and they have names, personalities, interests, ect; they have so many things about themselves that i only know from them telling me, that it’s reached a point where i can’t really write them off as nothing important;i mean, awhile ago, one of my friends jokingly asked me to say hello to one of them and they actually responded without any prompting, just on their own!!! which is, admittedly, kind of what’s triggering this ask, lol… πŸ˜“im kind of just rambling rn im very sorry i don’t know if this makes much sense, im just a bit very much confused, really, haha

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Anon, it is possible to be plural without having DID or OSDD. DID and OSDD are disorders that cause plurality, but they are not the only causes of plurality, it can stem from many different sources, both psychological and spiritual.

If there are people in your head who have consistent existences and you regularly talk to them, you are experiencing some form of plurality, and its up to you what kind of label you put on that.

I urge you to look into endogenic plurality. @soulbonder is a good resource discussing specifically soulbonding– which is where you experience the presence of characters in your head, whether they’re OCs, or characters from media you’re familiar with. Even if that’s not exactly what you’re experiencing, that might be a good place to start looking into the experiences of others.

@sophieinwonderland also discusses endogenic plurality, usually from a psychological angle, and not a spiritual one, which may be more or less helpful to you depending on your perspective.

Please feel free to send and ask to us any time, or even DM privately if you want to talk. I know going through discovering plurality can be very overwhelming.

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Proship fictionkin, fictives and introjects are amazing!

πŸ’– We understand that the fiction other people write doesn’t cause harm even when it’s about our source or your kintype; it doesn’t effect our identity or kin experiences.

πŸ’– It is perfectly valid to ship things because they are relevant to our experience as a fictive and to our source.

πŸ’– It is perfectly valid for you to ship things just because it’s fun and you want to.

πŸ’– Not all fictionkin, fictives or introjects are antis!