Anon, the advice I give you depends strongly on an important factor.
Are your F/Os system members, soulbonds, or other real, people with agency of their own that you share your internal experience with in some way?
or are they just fictional characters that you write about and enjoy and play pretend with?
Because if they’re just fictional characters then it is impossible to manipulate them in any meaningful way. It’s like saying you’re manipulating a doll or a teddy bear. It’s ridiculous. There’s no need for you to feel guilty about any of it, because there is no real person for you to harm. Full stop. You’re fine.
If they’re system members, or other internal people with agency then it could be possible that you have been manipulative, or that your actions have caused harm.
Here’s what you should do if your F/O is a real internal person with agency that you worry you have been manipulating.
The same thing you’d do with any other partner you worried that you had caused harm to.
Talk to them about your feelings.
Communicate with them.
Ask them what they want, and if they feel harmed.
And if they do feel harmed, apologize, and ask them how you would like to proceed in the future.
