Anon, we are so glad to meet you, an so glad our posts resonated with you!
This part in your message stood out to me
we have some fictives sure but he feels like… a different type of fictive i have no idea how to explain it)
I think you should check out some posts over at our (very out of date) blog @soulbonder and see if some of the experiences talked about over there resonate with you.
Please feel free to put anything you like in our inbox if you want to talk more about your experiences.
I don’t think that makes you a hypocrite, anon.
People, all people, are allowed to have ships they don’t like. You’re allowed to complain about it an insult it in private.
As long as you’re not being outwardly hostile to the people who ship it, you’re not doing anything wrong.
We’re in the same boat as you are. There are people who have hurt us in our kin lives that we just can’t forgive or accept. We don’t like to see art or fic of them. It makes us a little ill.
Remember, its not what you think about people that matters, its about your actions.
All the judgemental and nasty thoughts in the world won’t hurt a person until you actually directly act on them.