You go to sit on your F/O’s lap, but they decide they want to sit on your lap instead.
The two of you end up playfully (or not so playfully) wrestling for dominance, to see who gets to sit on who’s lap.
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🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪 (romantically)
One of my former friends used to support me, comfort me when I was down over people harassing me for my F/O, but when they turned their back on me they said I was problematic for loving my F/O, and “forcing them” to do these things for me… Like, manipulating them into comforting and indulging me. I still fear that this is actually what I did without realizing it.
Anon, the advice I give you depends strongly on an important factor.
Are your F/Os system members, soulbonds, or other real, people with agency of their own that you share your internal experience with in some way?
or are they just fictional characters that you write about and enjoy and play pretend with?
Because if they’re just fictional characters then it is impossible to manipulate them in any meaningful way. It’s like saying you’re manipulating a doll or a teddy bear. It’s ridiculous. There’s no need for you to feel guilty about any of it, because there is no real person for you to harm. Full stop. You’re fine.
If they’re system members, or other internal people with agency then it could be possible that you have been manipulative, or that your actions have caused harm.
Here’s what you should do if your F/O is a real internal person with agency that you worry you have been manipulating.
The same thing you’d do with any other partner you worried that you had caused harm to.
Talk to them about your feelings.
Communicate with them.
Ask them what they want, and if they feel harmed.
And if they do feel harmed, apologize, and ask them how you would like to proceed in the future.
It’s a double bind – damned if you tag damned if you don’t
It really can be the case.
Because if you tag, then when fancops decide they want to harass somebody for the contents of that tag, they know right where to find you.
But if you don’t tag, no one can filter it and people will come upon it by accident.
a bit ago you got a (different) anon that was asking about the intersection between plurality and f/os, and you mentioned that the strong connection self-shipping can bring can form/summon (depending on your experience i guess) system members. we had this happen to us recently and honestly i don’t even know if there’s a point to this message i just like… got so excited seeing someone talk about this and say “yeah this is a thing that can happen.”it’s totally new territory for me (we have some fictives sure but he feels like… a different type of fictive i have no idea how to explain it) and i’ve never seen anyone talk about it, maybe because there isn’t a lot of intersection between the two communities, i dunno i’m not super connected so i could be wrong or just not looking in the right spaces but.we’ve basically been navigating blind which has been working but that doesn’t make the experience any less “lonely” i guess when you’ve never heard of it happening before yanno. and i’m also struggling with a weird amount of guilt around it— a lot of overwhelming feelings both positive and negative. i won’t go into detail because i don’t want to feelingsdump in your guys’ ask box lol, but… yeah.sorry i don’t even know what i was trying to convey here, feel free to ignore this, just seeing that ask made me do the metal gear solid “!” thing LOL.
Anon, we are so glad to meet you, an so glad our posts resonated with you!
This part in your message stood out to me
we have some fictives sure but he feels like… a different type of fictive i have no idea how to explain it)
I think you should check out some posts over at our (very out of date) blog @soulbonder and see if some of the experiences talked about over there resonate with you.
Please feel free to put anything you like in our inbox if you want to talk more about your experiences.
dead-boy-dont-eat here …. i got terminated. I thought that I was really safe, since I only ever posted positivity, stayed out of antis’ tags, and only had 100 followers. I hope that I can get my account back, but I’m really disappointed in tumblr’s reporting system.
You’re not serious??? what the hell?
At this point I’m wondering how our blog is still standing!
How come I always see anti’s saying the same things about us that we do about them They say they get hatred and attacks, they say proshippers break DNI, they say that we say they deserved their abuse, everything we say over here they say we do the same thing I never see screenshots tho, so maybe that’s the difference
It’s absolutely the difference, anon.
If proshippers were harassing antis on the scale that antis harass proshippers, they would never shut up about it.
There would be daily callout posts.
Bad actors exist in every group. There are proshippers who have harassed antis.
But they’re in the minority.
Whereas antishipping is almost entirely based around cyberbullying people they don’t like, and its obvious.
Just check out #anti receipts
God I’m a sucker for characters who are so utterly loyal to someone that they’re completely unhinged. Characters who have no moral compass except their overwhelming devotion to whoever they’ve chosen to listen to. That’s the good shit
Nighty night, pals!
The unmatched pleasure of going to sleep cuddling with your f/o.