Tag Archives: pluralgang

so i’m a little apprehensive to say anything about this, because i feel like i’m just appropriating real trauma and real problems, but a couple of years back i had a friend group that gave me the space to like, try functioning as a system (i really can’t think of the proper term for this, apologies), and it really did something for me. it’s hard to figure out the proper words for things, but it sort of did feel like i was shifting alters and actually acknowledging that and communicating with them was really helpful for me, and it was the most mentally healthy that i’ve felt in a really long time. but i stopped doing it once i left that friend group because they then told me i was faking it (none of those friends were systems, none even had any knowledge on mental health beyond adhd tiktok and the like). i genuinely feel a lot of guilt and shame saying this though, because i have a lot of friends who are plural/systems and i feel like i’m doing things that i shouldn’t, that aren’t for me. this was mostly a ramble bc this is really hard for me to talk about but i just wanted you to know that your posts about plurality and talking to people who are new to understanding their systems and everything regarding it are extremely comforting to read even as someone who has no idea if they are plural or not. thank you for your time <3

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Anon, I am so sorry that your former friends abused your trust, isolated, exiled, and fakeclaimed you. You did not do anything to deserve that treatment.

I hope you will listen to me when I say this to you.

If living and functioning as a system is constructive and helpful for you, then you are a valid system if you believe you are. You are plural if you believe you are plural.

There is no objective metric for plurality.

Medical diagnoses do not have, or even claim to have, a monopoly on all the plurality that exists, despite some discourse that claims otherwise.

No one outside of your head can tell for sure if you are really plural or not.

Being plural is at its core an entirely internal experience, like emotions or thoughts.

No one outside of your brain can objectively evaluate whether your body contains one person or many people in it.

There is no objective metric for plurality.

If functioning as a plural is what is comfortable for you, then you are plural.

And you are welcome in the plural community. You are not appropriating anything. You belong here.

Do you have any advice/resources on how to contact a potential headmate? I feel like I might have a system but I can’t seem to reach or “talk to” any of the members or find an inner world or anything.

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Your best bet is to just keep trying to initiate contact and conversation, even if you don’t feel like you’re getting a response.

  • When you’re picking something to eat, ask for someone else’s input.
  • When you’re watching something, ask what they think.
  • Grab a pad of paper and write down questions, then write an answer ‘as’ your system member/let your system member answer. See if it feels right.
  • Do the same but via discord. Create a separate pluralkit tag for them and try to talk back and forth. See if it feels like someone else or if it just feels like you.
  • Just keep poking whenever you think of it. Ask their opinion on things that happen and choices you make during the day.
  • Be aware that not all system communication is verbal or seems verbal. Especially in the early days it can be feelings, nonverbal thoughts, internal body language, etc.

If any of our plural followers have any more advice please chime in.