Kink is not responsible for the existence of abusive men. Neither is “problematic!” fiction. Maybe hold abusers accountable for their own actions instead of blaming other things
Was talking with my therapist about how it’s possible to completely lose one’s own identity to people-pleasing – when you grow up being constantly preoccupied with concerns about what other people want, and the ideal outcome is always whatever makes everyone else happy, it’s possible to simply not learn to know yourself at all. If the only thing you’ve ever strived for in life is to make everyone else happy, you just never pause to think what you want, or what you would enjoy, independently from anyone else’s desires.
As an example of this, I recalled that for the longest time, I just didn’t listen to music when I was alone, because the thought never occurred to me. I didn’t have my own taste in music, I was fine with listening to whatever the people I was with wanted to listen to, but whose music would I be listening to if I wasn’t with anyone else? She thought this was a great observation, and gave me a homework assignment to find a song I like, just on my own and for myself, and show it to her next week.
So I guess my therapist is about to learn about the existence of mongolian folk metal.
Honestly, thanks for yelling, and I’m glad you feel comfortable to yell here.
This kind of shit is exactly what fancops are missing when they try to shut down and censor fiction, assuming that they know why and by whom it was created.
This is a journal entry from last night, edited for clarity and to not point fingers at specific people, but at ideology. I was really angry. And I try not to show that anger on this account but I think, at least this time, it’s important and drives the point home. General content warnings for talking about trauma, harassment and victim blaming.
I know it’s not relevant now, now if you’re being yelled at by somebody for writing/ making art of something “problematic” they’re more likely to be anti-recovery, and tell you to quit therapy or whatever you use to help yourself altogether and instead find a cult “group” that can help you find a coping mechanism that doesn’t make them uncomfortable! Either that or accuse you of not being traumatized at all. Because no “actual” trauma victim would ever do anything to makes them personally uncomfortable!
But back in my day, as I saw this whole thing start, if you said that you used fiction as a coping mechanism, they would demand you to out yourself as a survivor to them like fucking cops in order to gatekeep if you could write fiction or not. I saw people pour their fucking hearts out in posts saying how specifically they were traumatized and why the fiction they consumed helped with that trauma. Even going to far as to psychoanalyze themselves to try and be given the freedom and pass to ship without getting harassed.
In the end though? It doesn’t fucking matter. I don’t need to be a victim for other people to mind their own fucking business and curate their own goddamn experiences. Outing yourself as a survivor makes yourself VULNERABLE. It gives other people the ability to not only attack and harass you with said trauma, but also allows them to doubt your story and victim blame. It is nobodies fucking job to scrutinize and check what another person can and can’t do in fucking fiction. And in the end, it didn’t actually matter if you were a victim or a “dirty freak” in their eyes because you still got harassed. And they could never even handle the fucking thought that you could have fallen under both categories in their false fucking dichotomies. And frankly? Nobody is fucking owed that type of information at all, especially to use that sensitive information to categorize and gate-keep people from being able to do whatever the fuck they’d like in fiction freely.
I’m angry, I’m so upset at how much information people gave up in order to try and stop harassment campaigns against them. When the answer should have always been “it’s not ANY of your damn business, so fuck right off to the hole you crawled out of.” It should have never fucking come to this point where people had to give up whether they were a victim or not, when there are no sources or anything to suggest that fiction impacts reality to the degree that antis think it does. The burden of proof lies with anti’s and anti’s only.
If you see this is posted, It’s because I got fed up with the fact that these fucking people were able, ALLOWED to ask this shit without being fucking reprimanded and told to fuck off like they should have been. And that their movement has moved the goalposts from “I need to see your survivor card to determine if you are allowed this freedom.” To “this is unhealthy in my unprofessional opinion and I am going to harass you for it even though its not any of my fucking business in the first place, and it’s only because I personally find your existence and your coping mechanisms disgusting.”
Villain f/os being sweet and soft towards you is great and all, but what about those villain f/os who you know would hurt you?
CW: dark, abusive
The ones who do experiments on you telling you “its for your own good”
Their saccharine sweet voice promising that everything will be okay as they stroke gently across your cheek with that wicked grin they’re known to have, kissing you through the pain
It’ll all be okay, the promise, it’ll all be perfect, YOU will be perfect. You’ve been so good for them already, surely you can be good a little longer?
Or maybe they like the way you scream when they hurt you, your pain is hwat they love most about you and though you are in agony even you can recognize how fondly and lovingly they look at your scars in the aftermath of it all
PSA to antis: The people in your life don’t have to “vet” the fanfiction you jerk off to. I don’t know why there’s this weird obsession with if your family would “approve”
Adults don’t talk like that. Friends, maybe. But family? I hate to break it to you but if you tell your mom what you jerked off to last night she’s gonna be grossed out whether it was loli porn or straight, missionary videos.
Do you know why? Because people don’t usually tell their parents about what they jerk off to.
Hope this helps
I’m pretty sure telling your parents what you’re whacking off to counts as sexually harassing them…
Of depending on how fundamentalist your parents are you could be beaten for consuming any ANY adult smut fiction.
Or be punished in some manner. Which maybe having electronics taken away would be a benefit but yeah. That’s not something appropriate to share with family.
