this post hasn’t left my mind since i’ve first saw it
people jest but this is literally how i worked out i was gaslit for like 15 years of my life
People who “want trauma” are recognizing, on some level, that they were traumatized but in a way that’s not “socially recognized” as trauma. What they really want is for people to see that they’ve been traumatized and be on their side
Hold up
I think it’s also important to talk about mental illness, and how the pain and trauma of being mentally ill as a kid is often diminished because of the lack of outside actors. If you spent your childhood being suicidally depressed because your wee little kiddo brain decided to be a chemical shitshow, it doesn’t matter how much mom and dad loved you, that kinda thing fucks you up. And having people only look at your external surroundings and argue that “nothing bad happened” ignores all the pain you went through internally. So wishing you could have something external you could point to in order to justify that pain and enduring stress – just so people could understand – makes sense.
Posts that diagnose me, drag me, and rewire the synapses in my brain.
I’ve always felt that the reason kids who have been through trauma or most mental illnesses are attracted to darker themed media/books/etc.. It’s often the only place there is acknowledgment that things are not all right. even if it’s just fictional, it’s validation.
this week on tumblr slaps me in the face with things i didn’t know i needed to talk to my therapist about
People who are antiship do more harm to abuse victims then proshiper ever will. And that’s saying something because I don’t even like prohipers or there content. But at least they don’t go out of there way to harasses abuse victims, victim blame children, imply they consented to there abuse, and invalidate how life destroying said abuse is by saying fiction is just as harmful
You guy don’t care about victims that aren’t yourself
i’ve seen some straight up say to csa victims and such that “they should’ve been abused more” or wish their abusers had gone so far as to kill them…
I’ve seen that too, and its disturbing and upsetting every time.
People who are antiship do more harm to abuse victims then proshiper ever will. And that’s saying something because I don’t even like prohipers or there content. But at least they don’t go out of there way to harasses abuse victims, victim blame children, imply they consented to there abuse, and invalidate how life destroying said abuse is by saying fiction is just as harmful
You guy don’t care about victims that aren’t yourself
i know so many of us have been trained since a young age to be so accommodating as to fear ever expressing an opinion, but as we get older we need to understand that being “accommodating” to the point of total indecisiveness is a very uncomfortable way to go through life, for you AND those around you. it’s ok to have an opinion on something. it’s ok to make a decision. your friends won’t hate you if you’re the one to end the “where do you want to eat” “oh anywhere is fine with me” discussion by suggesting a restaurant. you’re not high maintenance if you say, “noon is more convenient for me” when someone asks you what time you want to hang out. make decisions, have opinions, be part of the planning process, understand that you’re not being inconvenient, you’re just contributing.
Was talking with my therapist about how it’s possible to completely lose one’s own identity to people-pleasing – when you grow up being constantly preoccupied with concerns about what other people want, and the ideal outcome is always whatever makes everyone else happy, it’s possible to simply not learn to know yourself at all. If the only thing you’ve ever strived for in life is to make everyone else happy, you just never pause to think what you want, or what you would enjoy, independently from anyone else’s desires.
As an example of this, I recalled that for the longest time, I just didn’t listen to music when I was alone, because the thought never occurred to me. I didn’t have my own taste in music, I was fine with listening to whatever the people I was with wanted to listen to, but whose music would I be listening to if I wasn’t with anyone else? She thought this was a great observation, and gave me a homework assignment to find a song I like, just on my own and for myself, and show it to her next week.
So I guess my therapist is about to learn about the existence of mongolian folk metal.
