I wish I had a better answer for you than just “discernment.”
You just have to think about it, reflect on it, consider how it feels and what it means to you, and decide for yourself exactly what it is.
Many otherkin would say that these type of feelings would mean you should explore/question if you have a kintype that is something like a dryad, alraune, dwarf, or other type of mythological creature or spirit associated with nature ans the earth.
Other otherkin would say that you might consider yourself to have a kintype that is the earth itself.
Almost all otherkin would say that you should take your time and explore the deepness of your feelings, question and search for your truth and want is meaningful to you.
Describe your experiences to yourself and put together a picture of what you feel and what you believe yourself to be, and come to an answer about what you feel your kintype to be.
This is a process called “questioning”, and its the way otherkin and fictionkin discover the trith about themselves. Sometimes it can take a long time to figure out what is meaningful and true to you, and that is always okay.
Yeah, I’m not surprised the emotion surrounding Junko is intense, given your connection to Mukuro, anon, whatever that turns out to be.
The way I see it, you have three options ahead of you.
1️⃣ Embrace those feelings: just go with the flow and fandom all over Junko, get real into her as an F/O, comfort character, whatever, celebrate and embrace that connection and see where it takes you.
2️⃣ Reject those feelings: Push them away. Recontextualize them, redirect them onto someone else, explore other emotions and interpretations of that relationship with Junko.
3️⃣ Put it off until later: Don’t interact with those feelings about Junko for now, ignore them and redirect your focus onto other aspects of Mukuro’s life and existence, if you’re able to.
I have to admit we may not be the best person to talk to about this specific relationship. We as a system have a lot of history with Junko in our fictionkin experiences, and I (😼🔪) am personally in a relationship with our Mukuro in our partner system.
When our Mukuro first woke up here, her memories stopped at the moment that she died in canon. She was extremely traumatized, and I spent a lot of time walking her through her feelings, convincing her of her own worth, and pointing out what I saw as a relationship with Junko that was entirely one sided. Our Junko didn’t care about Mukuro at all. If she had, even a little bit, I would have been able to forgive her.
But it’s entirely possible that YOUR Junko was different. I don’t know your experience of being Mukuro, and I don’t know how Junko treated you, how you related to her, or if she cared about you even a little bit.
I hope she did, anon.
But I have to be real with you and say my exotrauma is not gonna let me be clearheaded about this one.
That fictionkin or fictive feeling when you and your real actual partner are a fandom rarepair, or even a nonexistent ship.
Wild that my RE kintype is so fucking obscure that the AO3 tag for him exists, but has never been used.
–🔍⚔️
Sometimes you’re in a strong enough shift that catching your body’s reflection in the mirror is disorienting and almost physically painful.
Everybody in the system is pretty interested in niche and indie horror games. Detention, Ib, Mermaid Swamp, Mad Father, etc.
My (Chris) favorite obscure video game is Enter the Matrix. It’s objectively terrible but I really loved playing with the matrix powers.
As for getting into Resident Evil, we all actually avoided the whole series for a long time, because Toko (who was our main fronter for a long time) is really, really upset by zombie fiction. For a long time the only thing we knew about RE was that Leon had a nice ass (because Toko’s moirail in high school had a crush on him and talked about it sometimes).
We finally ended up getting into it year before last when Komaru from our partner system (@megaphonegirlk ) convinced our Peter that they should play one of the games, since both of them are really into guro. Komaru had always been into it but never actually played the series.
Well, they played 7 and it hit a few people. And then 8. And then in the system started freaking out and having flashbacks, and we found out the reason Toko had been avoiding it was that he was Heisenberg in a past life, and we’d all been pretty traumatized by that shit.
So then we were all ass deep in the series and we haven’t recovered!
We approach it both from a kin perspective and from a fandom perspective because engaging in fan content for it makes a lot of the emotions easier to deal with.
Edit: Oh and our favorite game is probably the remake of 2 from a gameplay perspective, and the remake of the original in a general perspective.
Made a banner of all of my (Toko’s) kintypes on a spectrum. Pretty interesting to see it all laid out like this. ^^;;
Dumb little fictionkin thing: seeing art of your kintype that heavily exaggerates your attractiveness, especially like, in a mainstream way.
Like honey, I’m flattered but I promise my body did NOT look like that. Enjoy the fantasy tho :p
