The argument against kink in public seems to be, to my understanding, that any kinky act is has some inherent sexual component or motivation, and therefore kink in public is equivalent to sex in public, and therefore indecent. Wearing a puppy mask or a collar in public is done for sexual reasons, so its indecent.
And my question to them is: where do you draw the line?
If we agree that non-sex acts that have some kind of sexual component or motivation are indecent and should not be allowed in public, where do we draw the line? Should kissing be illegal, or maybe only kissing with tongue? Should revealing bikinis and thongs be illegal? Clothing that has sexual innuendos on it? Should grabbing your partner’s ass be illegal in public? Should it be illegal for anyone to wear a dog collar, because it might be sexual? How can you tell if someone is doing something or wearing something because they are getting off on it, rather than doing it for other reasons?
What’s most likely to happen is that the things that will be considered too indecent for public are the things that are considered non-standard sexuality. If enough people in your area view a gay couple holding hands, or an androgynous person existing, as sexual in nature, then it’s indecent and shouldn’t be allowed in public. Its entirely based on what the culture around you views as inherently sexual. If a straight couple is making out on a park bench, there is likely some sexual component or motivation to that act- do I have grounds to consider that indecent and sexually explicit? Why not? Because the people in my neighborhood don’t find that especially jarring? Why shouldn’t they be criticized for their sexually motivated public act? The people who are going to be targeted are going to be people who are already seen as abnormally, overly-sexual dangers to children. “Normal” sexuality is allowed to exist in public without being seen as notably sexual, but any display of “abnormal” sexuality is seen as overt and dangerous.
And that is why this is about queerphobia, too. You can’t argue that the system of what is indecent exposure in public should be based off of what people consider inherently sexual, and then act like that will never ever be used against queer people- when a central part of queerphobia has always been that queer people are inherently sexual, and sexually perverted, and that any display of gayness or transness in public is inherently sexual. Basing laws off of what makes people uncomfortable is always going to allow prejudice to rule. That is why kinky people and queer people have an intertwined history; we were all sex freaks in the eyes of the law, and in many places, we still are.
This is why I feel the much better way of judging such things is: Are people actively engaging in a sex act (as in, they are having sexual intercourse)? Are genitals exposed? Are bodily fluids being left in public where they pose a health hazard? Is it causing genuine disruption to other people’s lives?
The idea that there is something special and magical about sexual arousal and desire that takes away your willpower and good judgement is a lie made up by rapists to excuse rape.
Seriously how many people have, out of lack of self-control:
Driven recklessly, aggressively, or worse, DUI, endangering the lives of themselves and everyone in the car not to mention other people on the road or even pedestrians near the road
Stayed up late binge-watching TV shows and blowing off responsibilities or then ending up sleep deprived and unable to function the next day
Eaten too much of some food (which might be perfectly healthy to eat in smaller quantities) to the point that they felt sick.
Spent too much money that they didn’t have on things they didn’t need, running up credit card debt and ruining their finances.
Made senseless negative comments about other people, online or in person, just to feed their own ego?
The more you think about it the more you realize that willpower and good judgment are important in all aspects of life and there is nothing particularly unique about sexual attraction, arousal, or other situations. We humans have a lot of different drives and pressures pulling us in different directions and just about all of them can lead to bad situations.
Some of the situations, like reckless or aggressive driving, are much more dangerous than sex and, at least by some people, are engaged by some people much more frequently.
Cultural attitudes towards these things reflect biases. Dominant culture in the US is sex-negative but heavily pro-car biased, so we see exaggeration of risks of sex and downplaying of risks related to cars, as one of many examples.
The idea that there is something special and magical about sexual arousal and desire that takes away your willpower and good judgement is a lie made up by rapists to excuse rape.
It’s ironically poetic to me to see people on this site who easily understand that video games can’t cause real violence, nor is liking violent video games in any way suspicious or revealing of your true character, but then literally shaking and crying rn over sexual themes in fanfiction as if they are somehow inherently more evil than non-sexual themes.
Didn’t you know sex is evil and sexual arousal is a sign of devil possession?
All consensual sex is gay sex as long as it pisses off the straights enough.
Literally though this is like literally the concept behind anti-sodomy laws.
It wasn’t just no guy/guy fucking it was literally ANY oral and/or anal sex including consensually between a man and a woman, married or not.
Like. Gay sex literally pissed the (mostly christian) straights off so bad they wanted to consider straight sex gay too, so they could prosecute it ALL.
Pride was originally a riot. It’s not supposed to be “family-friendly”. Those who want family-friendly LGBT spaces are free to just create them. Take places that are already family-friendly and make them LGBT-friendly also. If you don’t want to do that, then that’s why Pride is still necessary.
āLiking taboo thing in fiction is FINE, but god forbid u make it SEXY and HORNY!!!ā
Not 2 be rude but what the fuck. Just because there are erotic elements and shit added doesnāt suddenly make people lose all sense of morality.
This idea that ādesireā is this all powerful feeling that can make you lose control and disregard morals is an argument created to protect rapists. It attempts to absolve guilt of violation from parties who disregard other parties consent (or disregard if they even CAN consent.) by incorrectly smearing sexual desire and the strength of that desire as something that can even overpower self control, it gives a justification and leeway as to why a party violated another parties consent.
Sexual desire and horniness donāt work like that, have never worked like that and never WILL work like that. And to even entertain the argument as valid even for a second? Is fucking dangerous. I get that these sexual feelings are scary especially when theyāre geared towards something āstrangeā and āweirdā or morally reprehensible irl. But falling back on arguments used to perpetuate rape culture to try and justify why itās āwrongā when all it does is cause personal discomfort is like⦠actually really bad.