Who was your very first character crush that you’d consider an F/O in hindsight?
Mine was Dark Heart.
Steven Stone from Pokemon RSE stole my 8 year old heart!! Fun fact the anime was NOT aired around this time and I didn’t have access to manga and ghasdf I fell hook line and sinker for these lovely pixels!!
“be gay do crimes! but- no, not THAT kind of gay, not THAT crime! only the type of gayness and type of crimes i, a random american 15yr old say you can be and do!”
i hate the fandom idea that homura’s actions (especially during rebellion) are out of a place of total selfishness, or homura just “not letting go” or because she’s evil.
did everyone forget that madoka, while dying, begged homura to keep looping to make sure madoka didn’t become a magical girl? homura had already seemingly looped several times before, and madoka all but asked her to keep going to save her from her fate. albeit, madoka was likely not thinking clearly about this, and obviously wasn’t asking to be cruel or to “hurt” homura by continuing the cycle, but the idea that “homura only loops because she’s selfish and evil and wants madoka to stay human because she’s selfish and evil” is literally not true at all in canon. madoka asks homura to make sure she (madoka) doesn’t contract, and all but asks her to loop again and again until that happens. obviously this is something homura wants to do (since human madoka = safe from the fate worse than death magical girls get), but the concept that it’s only homura’s desire, that madoka never asked for this, is false canonically.
and the idea in rebellion that homura is intentionally acting against madoka’s wants and “forcing” her to be human and seperate from the LoC ties into this as well. for one, homura 100% genuinely believes that madoka regrets her wish. madoka (while not having all her memories) says she could never do what she did as a goddess — that is, leave all her friends and family behind, erase herself from existence, etc. and after this, homura then 1) believes her, and 2) blames this perceived misery madoka felt as a goddess on herself (iirc, she says something like “if those are your true feelings, then what a terrible mistake i’ve made”).
she blames herself for “letting” madoka contract, thinking madoka was miserable, thinking she once again committed a grave sin by “breaking her promise” to madoka by letting her contract. remember, the reason the looping seemed to continue on for so long in the first place is that madoka begged homura as she was dying to make sure she didn’t contract. homura had been ready to die, along madoka’s side. and madoka, as any fourteen year old would, wanted to keep it from happening again.
then rebellion kicks in, and homura (in her despairing state) thinks that not only 1) she has betrayed her promise to madoka by letting her contract in the first place, and 2) that madoka is horribly lonely and miserable after the contract/wish was granted. she 100% whole heartedly believes this, and also believes the only way she can fulfill the promise and protect madoka from kyubey is to rip her from goddesshood.
kyubey openly said in rebellion the whole reason homura is in the isolation field is because he’s using her to get to madoka. he can’t prove the LoC exists, only homura knows who madoka is, so they can eventually control madoka/the LoC by having her save homura. homura is put in a spot where she can’t really even let madoka save her, because that gives kyubey access to seeing madoka, which can lead to him controlling her. and even if he doesn’t get madoka that time, there’s always a chance he could try this isolation field trick with any other magical girl, possibly even another one of madoka’s friends, since the LoC wouldn’t just willingly ignore a magical girl despairing. and he has all the time in the world to work on getting control of the LoC/madoka (an incomprehensible amount of it), provided entropy doesn’t accelerate, and his species is both determined and much more advanced than humans.
homura doesn’t do it because she’s bored or evil or For Fun or because she’s a “yandere” or whatever the hell else some people claim. she unequivocally thinks it’s what madoka wants, and that it’s the only way she can keep madoka from being controlled and hurt by kyubey, once again echoing back to the promise made in an earlier timeline (“can you go back in time and make sure i don’t get tricked by kyubey?”).
im so dead tired of self aware genre fiction. i dont want the snarky knight or the brooding spaceman to joke about how overplayed something is. gimme back unashamed affect. gimme dudes speaking in thees and thous and starship captains making poignant speeches and shit and stop fucking worrying about being seen by critics or the general public as shlock
“oh haha isnt sci fi so silly lol look at me i know im writing sci fi but my characters are joking about how cringey this all is so like its fine right” i would bite your head off if i could, coward
